Month: November 2013

“Retail The Ogre”

2004-vacation-0951.jpgOnce upon a time in the Land of Time, the inhabitants of the land celebrated a season called Christmas.  Christmas was a magical season filled with joyful celebration focusing on the birth of Jesus.  The inhabitants of the Land of Time, also called Families, would exchange gifts with other family members and close friends, singing carols and celebrating the meaning and magic of the season.  That magic was palpable and delightful.  The gifts that were exchanged were thoughtful yet simple.  Families made a supreme priority of spending their holiday time together.  An important aspect of the Christmas season was that it followed a special time of giving thanks called, of all things, Thanksgiving; a beautiful celebration in it’s simplicity.  Christmas always began after Thanksgiving ended and there was no sign of Christmas before the final expression of Thanksgiving had concluded.

One day, no one can remember exactly when, a strange creature, an ogre, invaded the Land of Time. His name, Retail! Retail presented himself as a benevolent creature focusing only on the convenience and best interests of the happy Families of the Land of Time.  After many years of celebrating four pleasant and relaxing days of giving thanks, enjoying family and preparing for the Christmas season Retail The Ogre introduced a new holiday interrupting Thanksgiving and he called it “Black Friday”.  While the name is obviously ominous Families understood it to reflect nothing more than the outer darkness encountered by bleary-eyed shoppers who had not yet recovered from a day of jovial gluttony.  They would awaken even earlier than they would on a normal workday to offer their hard earned sacrifices at the altar of Retail The Ogre.

In blissful ignorance the Families of the Land of Time initiated a new Thanksgiving tradition.  They began searching through a plethora of pages of sales ads delivered by Retail The Ogre for Black Friday shopping.  This practice decreased the time of interaction among the Families causing them to increase their focus on Retail The Ogre’s real plan; to gather money, his food!  Retail The Ogre encroached more and more on the Land of Time eventually breaking through the midnight barricade that protected Thanksgiving Day from Black Friday.  The true intention of Retail The Ogre had been revealed but it was too late to stop him.  His nefarious plan to increase the value of money and decrease the value of time spent together by Families had been unleashed.

How will this war end?  We sit on pins and needles awaiting the outcome of these annual battles but Retail The Ogre appears to be gaining strength every year.  Be afraid, America, be VERY afraid!